If there’s one universal truth about parenting, it’s that everyone has an opinion—especially your mother-in-law. Still, nothing prepared me for the moment when my current mother-in-law, Linda, handed me a neatly folded list of parenting “tips”—and I realized, halfway through reading it, that the advice was coming straight from my ex-boyfriend’s mom.
It was a sunny Sunday afternoon, and Linda was visiting, armed with her usual homemade banana bread and a fresh stack of “just a few ideas that helped me.” I tried to be gracious, skimming her notes as she cradled my newborn daughter in her lap. Some tips were harmless: “swaddle tightly,” “white noise works wonders.” But a few felt oddly specific. “Don’t forget to sign up for Miss Penny’s music class—it fills up by February!” “Always use the lavender lotion after bathtime, not before.”
I stopped reading. These were word-for-word the same bits of advice that I’d gotten years ago from another source: my ex, Jamie’s, mother, Doris. It hit me suddenly—Linda and Doris belonged to the same book club. I’d sat through one of their meetings, awkward and twenty-three, while Doris offered me every tip under the sun. Now, more than a decade later, I was getting Doris’s greatest hits all over again—this time, from my new mother-in-law.
The Awkward Realization
As Linda continued, I couldn’t help but smile at the weirdness. Did she know these weren’t her own ideas? Was this some kind of secret club wisdom being passed from one generation of daughters-in-law to the next? Or did she just want to help, drawing on any advice she could find?
When Linda finally paused, I gently asked, “Where did you hear about Miss Penny’s class?” She lit up. “Oh, Doris swears by it! She’s in my book club—you know her, right?”
I nodded, laughing. “Yes, I do. Small world, isn’t it?”
Linda looked sheepish. “I just thought it was such good advice. I figured, why not share what works?”
Finding the Humor (and the Heart)
Instead of feeling annoyed or invaded, I found myself strangely comforted. Here I was, in a new chapter of life, and even the advice following me was familiar. If nothing else, it was proof that this tangled web of families—exes, in-laws, and book clubs—sometimes just wants the best for the newest little ones.
Later that night, I told my husband the story. He laughed so hard he cried. “Only you would get hand-me-down advice from your ex’s mom via my mom,” he said. We decided to give Miss Penny’s music class a try after all.
What I Learned
Parenting can feel lonely, but you’re never truly alone—not when mothers everywhere are ready to share their wisdom (even if it’s recycled). Sometimes, the universe finds hilarious ways to remind you that you’re part of a bigger story. The advice might come with a side of awkwardness, but at the heart of it is the same thing: love and hope for the next generation.
Final Thought
If you ever find yourself receiving advice from an unexpected source, laugh and take what you need. Family ties are messy, but kindness (and a good music class tip) is always worth sharing.
