I always expected that pregnancy would come with surprises: weird cravings, midnight kicks, and a wave of advice from every direction. What I didn’t expect was that my mother-in-law, Carol, would plan an entire baby shower—for herself—to celebrate my baby.
When Carol called to tell me about the “party,” I thought she meant a small family get-together. Instead, she described it as her special day. “I just want my friends to share in the joy of becoming a grandmother,” she said. “You and Mark can drop by, but it’s really for me. Isn’t that fun?”
I tried to laugh it off, but as the invitations went out—Grandma-to-be Carol’s Baby Shower!—I realized she wasn’t joking. All her book club friends, neighbors, and colleagues were invited. I was an afterthought, tacked onto the guest list “if I felt up to it.”
The Day of the “Shower”
When we arrived, Carol was glowing in a sash that read “Grandma Extraordinaire.” There was a giant cake with her name piped in pink, banners with “Welcome, Grandma Carol!” and games about her new life as a grandmother. Guests handed her gifts: grandma-themed mugs, framed “#1 Grandma” prints, and tiny onesies for “Carol’s first grandchild.” I smiled politely, but inside I was stunned.
Any time someone congratulated me, Carol swooped in, steering the conversation back to her. “Isn’t this the most exciting time for me?” she’d gush, showing off ultrasound photos she’d copied from my social media.
How It Felt
At first, I thought I was overreacting. Grandparents are excited, I told myself. But as I sat in the corner, watching Carol open gifts meant for my child, I realized how invisible I felt. What should have been a celebration of our growing family had turned into a one-woman show.
When Carol’s friends asked if I’d like to say a few words, I just smiled and said, “I think Carol has said it all.”
The Conversation That Had to Happen
Afterward, Mark and I talked. He admitted he’d felt uncomfortable, too, but didn’t want to dampen his mom’s enthusiasm. We decided to set some boundaries, gently letting Carol know that while we loved her excitement, we also needed space to celebrate as a family—on our own terms.
We planned our own, small shower with close friends and family, centered on our baby and the journey ahead. It wasn’t extravagant, but it felt right.
What I Learned
Pregnancy brings out the best—and the most surprising—in people. I learned that it’s okay to stand up for your own experience and to ask for the attention, respect, and space you deserve. Sometimes, you have to reclaim your own celebration, even if it means having an honest conversation with someone you love.
Final Thought
If someone tries to take center stage in your milestone moments, remember: it’s your story, your family, and your joy. Don’t be afraid to set boundaries and celebrate in the way that feels right for you.
