Breaking up is hard enough. But nothing quite prepared me for the weirdness that followed when my ex, Ben, decided to block me on every platform—while continuing to chat with my mom like nothing happened.
The end of our relationship wasn’t messy or dramatic. After three years, we’d grown apart. Our breakup talk was teary but honest, full of “I’ll always care about you” and “let’s stay friends.” I thought that was the end of it. Then, a week later, my messages stopped going through, and my social media notifications told me what I already suspected: Ben had blocked me. Everywhere.
I was surprised, then a little hurt. I figured he needed space, and that was okay. What threw me was the text I saw on my mom’s phone a few days later: “Ben says hi!” She’d sent me a photo of her new garden, and there was Ben in the background, holding a trowel and grinning. Apparently, he’d come by to help with some planting, and afterward, they’d had coffee and talked for hours.
The Sting of Mixed Signals
At first, I tried to shrug it off. But every time I visited my mom, she’d mention Ben. “He gave me this recipe you’d love.” “He fixed the sink last week—what a lifesaver!” It felt like I’d lost him as a boyfriend, and then again as a friend. Only, I was the one shut out—he still got to keep my family.
One afternoon, when my mom invited him to Sunday dinner without asking, I finally snapped. “Why is Ben still hanging out here?” I asked. “He blocked me, Mom.”
She looked surprised. “Oh, honey, I just thought you two were still friends. He’s always been so nice.”
Setting Boundaries and Speaking Up
That was the conversation we needed. I told my mom it was uncomfortable for me, that Ben’s choice to block me meant we both needed time apart—even if it meant her missing his homemade lasagna. She understood, and promised to let me know before inviting him over again. Ben and I exchanged one last, civil message to clear the air, agreeing to some healthy distance.
What I Learned
Sometimes, breakups don’t follow clean lines. I learned that it’s okay to ask for space from your ex—not just for yourself, but from your family, too. I also realized that people will draw their own boundaries, and you’re allowed to draw yours in return.
Final Thought
If your ex cuts you out but stays friends with your family, remember: you have the right to feel uncomfortable, to speak up, and to protect your own healing. Your peace comes first—even if it means changing the guest list for Sunday dinner.
