Family game night has always been our little tradition. Every other Friday, I make snacks, set up the living room, and we all gather to play board games—sometimes just my daughter, Emily, and me, and sometimes with a couple of friends or relatives joining in. It’s one of the few things that has stayed consistent since my divorce, and it’s something I genuinely look forward to.
So when Emily, now 17, said she wanted to invite a few extra people over, I didn’t think twice. I assumed she meant friends from school or maybe her cousin. What I didn’t expect was to open the door on game night and find my ex-husband, Tom, standing there holding a bag of chips and a big smile.
The Shock at the Door
For a second, I thought he must have been dropping something off. “Oh… hi,” I said cautiously.
“Hey! Emily invited me. I thought I’d join in,” he replied as if this were completely normal.
I glanced over at Emily, who was grinning like she’d pulled off some grand surprise. “I thought it would be fun if Dad came too,” she said.
Why This Was So Uncomfortable
Emily’s relationship with her dad is separate from my own, and I’ve always encouraged her to spend time with him. But family game night is my tradition with her, something we built after the divorce to have a space that was ours.
Having Tom there shifted the entire atmosphere. Suddenly, I was hyper-aware of my body language, my words, and even which games we chose. Instead of relaxing, I felt like I was on edge in my own living room.
The Evening Itself
To his credit, Tom was perfectly polite. He joked during charades, shared stories about his week, and helped Emily build her Monopoly empire. But I couldn’t shake the feeling that the easy, safe vibe of our nights together had been interrupted.
When Emily went to get more snacks, Tom turned to me and said, “I’m glad she invited me. I’ve missed doing stuff like this as a family.”
I bit my tongue, unsure how to respond without starting something in front of Emily.
The Conversation After
When everyone left and Emily was cleaning up, I told her gently, “I love that you want to spend time with your dad, but family game night is our thing. You should have told me before inviting him.”
She frowned. “I just thought it would be nice to have him here. I didn’t think you’d mind.”
“I do mind,” I said. “It’s not about keeping him away—it’s about respecting our traditions and talking to me first. Some things are special because of who’s in them.”
Her Perspective
Emily insisted she wasn’t trying to take away our tradition. “It’s just… sometimes I wish we could all do things together, like before the divorce.”
That broke my heart a little. I understood her wish, but I also knew that forcing a “family” moment in a space that was meant for one-on-one bonding could do more harm than good.
Setting Boundaries
We agreed that if she wants to invite her dad in the future, she’ll ask me first. That way, I can decide if it’s the right time and space for it—or if we can plan a separate event where everyone is welcome.
I also reassured her that she can have game nights with him too, but that ours will remain a space where we can connect without old dynamics creeping in.
Moving Forward
Since then, game night has gone back to normal, and Emily has been good about checking in before inviting anyone. I know she wasn’t trying to hurt me; she just wanted to merge two parts of her life. But some things are better kept separate, especially when they carry emotional weight.
Final Thought: Traditions are often more than just activities—they’re safe spaces built on trust and connection. Bringing in someone unexpected, especially an ex, can disrupt that balance. Communication before making that kind of change is key to keeping those spaces intact.
