I always thought I’d be prepared for the day my daughter told me about her first crush. I pictured blushing confessions over pancakes or giggles about a shy boy from her math class. What I didn’t expect was for her to announce—over dinner, with zero warning—that she had a crush on someone “smart, funny, and really cute.” Before I could tease out more details, she dropped the bombshell: “It’s Uncle Sam.”
Uncle Sam—my childhood best friend, the one who’s practically family, who’s known my daughter Ava since the day she was born. The same Sam who helped me move apartments, who brings her candy every Halloween, who taught her how to ride a bike in the park. In her eyes, he was everything a first crush should be: charming, silly, safe, and—unfortunately for my heart—very, very real.
The Surprise and the Struggle
At first, I couldn’t help but laugh. The innocence of it all! But as the days went on, Ava’s crush turned from a sweet joke into a daily topic. She’d pepper conversations with “Sam said…” and “Do you think Sam likes my new dress?” She blushed whenever he visited, and wrote “Mrs. Sam” on the corners of her notebooks.
I worried, of course. Was it okay for a ten-year-old to have such a big crush on an adult? Should I say something to Sam? Mostly, I just didn’t want her heart to get broken, or for either of them to feel awkward.
Navigating the Weirdness
One afternoon, after a particularly giggly visit from Sam, I decided to gently talk to Ava. “You know Sam is my best friend, right?” I asked. She nodded, her cheeks pink. “And that he’s a grown-up, so he can’t be a boyfriend like in the movies. But it’s totally normal to have crushes—even on people like Sam.”
She looked relieved. “I just like being around him. He always listens to me and makes me laugh.”
I hugged her tight. “That’s what makes Sam a great friend to both of us.”
Later, I called Sam and told him—half laughing, half mortified. He took it in stride, promising not to tease Ava and to treat her feelings with respect. “I remember my first crush,” he said, “on my babysitter. I thought she hung the moon.” We both agreed it was a sweet, fleeting stage—one that meant Ava felt safe and loved.
What I Learned About First Crushes
Over the next few months, Ava’s crush gradually faded. She found new interests, new friends, and even a new favorite teacher. Sam stayed his usual goofy, gentle self, and our family dynamic didn’t skip a beat. But the experience taught me more about parenting than I expected.
First crushes are less about romance and more about admiration, comfort, and trust. They’re a practice run for the messier feelings that come with growing up. And sometimes, the safest person to have a first crush on is the one who’s always there, rooting for you from the sidelines.
Letting Love Grow—In All Its Forms
Looking back, I’m grateful Ava’s first crush was on someone who cared about her and our family. I learned that a parent’s job isn’t to shield their child from every awkward or surprising feeling, but to guide them with kindness, honesty, and gentle humor.
And maybe, to be a little more prepared the next time she drops a bombshell at the dinner table.
Final Thought
First crushes can be awkward, funny, and even a little bittersweet. If your child develops feelings for someone close to your family, meet it with understanding and grace. These innocent feelings are part of growing up—and a chance to teach your child about love in all its safe, silly, and surprising forms.
